There are many debates on the question "Does Size Matter?"

Generally speaking there are only three possible answers. "Yes", "no" or "don't know"

Here is my response with apologies to those who have already heard it:

Does Size Matter ?

My friend and I the other day
Were short of something more to say
We talked about the subject size
Don’t look at me in such surprise
So we got into a huge debate
We talked until it got quite late
We had a very lengthy natter
About the claim that size does matter
He said that the press was full of lies
I looked at him with big brown eyes
He said he was in the right occupation
And that he would give a demonstration
That he was the man to prove the point
Come to my bedroom I will not disappoint
Please come upstairs and see my decoration
I could barely hide my anticipation
I was surprised but I wasn’t scared
He took me to his room I stared
My face immediately began to crinkle
There in all its glory without a wrinkle
His wallpaper the subject of this chatter
You see he said that *size does matter
He taught me quite a thing or two
Next week I’m off to B&Q

©Marian Barker

*A thin, weak glue used in various trades (for those puzzled non DIY readers)