Ominous
An
Omen
Who can say?
A butterfly
Tapped my pane today
Then flew away to play
Perhaps I should have followed?
But perhaps it's still far too soon?
Or perhaps it's a sign - an omen
©Marian Barker
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blckbird
Pro - blckbird
- Monday, Apr. 16, 2007 @ 17:42:01
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la_spice
- Monday, Apr. 16, 2007 @ 18:34:33
No offence whatsoever - the thing is it is a nonet hence the seven lines. Not too sure what makes a sonata - I'll "ask jeeves" and perhaps have a bash!
Thanks for your constructive comment
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I think you meant nine lines ...typing error!A sonata in music consists of an exposition "the first subject" a bridge section then the "second subject" in a different key then there is a development section and finally after much key changing it leads to recapitulation. It is often called first movement form found well developed in Beethoven's piano sonatas and in overtures. Very rough out line. I'm no expert sonatac omes from the Italian meaning "sounded. Interstingly "sonnet"with 14 lines and any rhyme systems and 10 syllbles per line is again Italian "sonnetto "...little sound. I do like Ominous and feel you hve the skill to make more out of it. Thanks for not minding !
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la_spice
- Wednesday, Apr. 18, 2007 @ 14:39:11
Rather "ominous" - can't think where seven came from
As for typos - I'm in good company - re-read your message. Me 1:You 4
Still not sure about your explanation - do you have an example? Quite happy to have constructive comments (I avoided the word criticism as I know you weren't criticising)
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Examples any of Beethoven's 32 piano sonatas First theme played maybe more than one time... bridge section ....tnen second themefollowed by develpoment which includes variations on the themes.... and perhaps additional tunes then finally recapitulation, when the themes returned in their original forms.... See what you mean about my typing..... very careless editing you must accept me warts and all.
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la_spice
- Wednesday, Apr. 18, 2007 @ 17:06:29
Typos, warts and all accepted
I must be a pain but cannot make the link between musical sonatas and developing the first four lines of "Ominous". I understand the relationship between words and music (poetry = lyrics) but after that you've lost me! I think
So I write the first 4 lines (but repeat it during and at end of piece - like a refrain?) After first 4 lines I make a link with another (related?) theme which I "play around with" before ending with first 4 lines?
Is that what you mean or am I way off beam?-
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la_spice
- Wednesday, Apr. 18, 2007 @ 17:10:55
PS just worked out where the seven came from. I've been referring to "first four lines" which are actually six lines. Four plus the remaing three makes seven! QED!
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I hope I do not offend . I think you should develop this poem. I think it is complete at " then flew away to play" it is a wonderful theme....first subject of a sonata I think you could and should do more with this .